My Ideal School (Part 4: "Mister Conner")

I sat down for lunch with some of the minor big shots, the meal: rice with mildly fried fish and mushroom soup. If you know me you know that that is not my favorite type of meal. Although being here I’ve been able to develop a sleek technique for remaining full at these large Thai gatherings; eat as much rice as possible.
However quickly the Big Man and his compadres got up and left, saying what I thought were goodbyes. I migrated out of the open auditorium and out to some old friends to watch the karaoke. White Vans pulled out of the school and drove away. I thought, “Finally Ideal School is over.” Arworn walked by showing off her grin, which replaced the stress filled blank after the English presentation.
The auditorium was full of people, the karaoke was…Thai, and my friends gossiped each others ears off. I on the other hand just sat there. Tired and beat up from the heat of the sun, I was entirely ready for the day to end as the white vans return and parked round back. “Did they forget something?” There was another moment of anticipation as the traditional Thai two tiered speaches began. I don’t know who spoke first, it could have been anybody. I didn’t realize this was the “verdict” till the Big Man took the stage.
He followed his journey step by step through the school, this much I could tell, the rest was lost in a flurry of mistralations in my head. He proved to be an eloquent speaker getting laughs and cheers as he went. Giving each teacher feedback on how they did. Some appeared to be better than others – then he came to English. I tensed up. The Big Man spoke quickly and said “Mister Conner,” people looked over at me. He kept talking for a sentence or two then again “Mister Conner.” What did he say? The part of the crowd shifted their gaze toward me. I chuckled and my friend sitting next to me repeated the title I had been given.
I could tell he was working to his closing, he spoke slower and with more intesity. I even caught a few dramatic pauses. And he paused once more, building his audience for something good or about to deliver hard news.
It’s rare you can feel how everything has built up to a single moment. A pin point on the timeline of the past 2 months. All the decisions and choices that you and others made all avalanche into this final phrase. And the crowd went wild, cheers and standing ovation. We did it! All of the tension released, everyone either screaming or crying. The teachers gathered on stage and accepted officially the plaque and enormous shield like trophy stating that we are an Ideal School. I move in to thank the Supervisors, past the rows of crying kids. “Mister Conner…”, people congratulate me, I deflect to Arworn. I felt good and everyone else did too.

The drummers started their Finale.

My Ideal School (Part 3: Questions)

I made my way out of the English room before the Big Man strode up to Gun. The entire time I was asking myself “Did I teach Gun ‘excuse me’ or ‘sorry’ just in case things take a wrong turn”. But so far so good as the black jacket is placed comfortably on a chair, the Big Man takes a seat.
He is a genuinely nice guy, I can see that from his face. He possessess a calming smile with a wit to match. Something he uses to connect with the kids before the presentation starts. His posture was that of an intellectual, completely unbiased, yet he held his hands in a grip suggesting he too was nervous. I gave him my best disarming smile as I took a seat in the very back. At this point I was more than a little nervous.
Gun started the presentation on “Animal Vocabulary”, spoken with a little accent making it sound more like “Animals Voohcabulerys” but no one expect me noticed. Next to me were the rest of the committee members; teachers from Lampang schools and other Bangkok supervisors. One Lady began to talk to me in very good English although I talked very quietly not trying to disturb the presentation. She nodded as if she understood, I know now that that nod means the exact opposite.
Gun clicked on the Forest in the program…uh oh, it double clicked and went into one of the many games (inside the forest scene). Gun’s face was priceless, scared and forcing a smile. But she voices an “I’m Sorry…” and moves back to the forest. Nice save, I guess I did teach her that…fhew.
The rest of the presentation went smoothly till he stopped Gun and the Questions began. First, he looks at Bpai, what month is it and can you spell it? She stands up and answers September, S-E-P-T-E-M-B-E-R. “Geng” (good job) he says she sits down. Second, Muay and Bak stand up for a conversation, asking each others names and phone numbers. “Geng”. He seems to be building up to something, whats his kicker? His finale? Ask the American questions. Crap.
Tai stood his ground and asked me, now standing as well, various questions about me. Occassionally I would ask some of the easy ones back to try and impress the Big Man, and he seemed thoroughly impressed. Tai glances about the room out of questions and the Big Man motions for him to sit down cracking a joke, everyone laughs. I have no clue what he said, I have a hinting feeling it was about me.
Next up, he chose Bak again. Bak, small, shy and most of all feverish, stood up. He is one of the kids I expected not to know how to ask a question correctly, and he looked as though he were about to pass out. The Big Man was thinking up his first question, the lady I had talked to earlier shouts out her own, “Me Fan Mai?” (does he have a girlfriend?). Very Thai, so very Thai of a question to ask. Bak translates flawlessly, I answer “I don’t know.” In a room full of giggly Thai women it’s the safest option I could think of. I dodged it. Next question, “Do you like Thai Girls better or American Girls?” Come on. I could understand the question before Bak said it, but he pieced something together. Impressively with words I didn’t know he knew. I replied, “I like them the same.” Another easy way out. The Big Man pauses and says “Geng Mak” (very good job) and Bak the Triumphant Ferverish Shy kid takes his seat.
The Big Man grabs his jacket and gives me a sturdy hand shake with a meaningful compliment. “Bah!” (Let’s go) and every one began to exit. I congratulated Tai and Bak, and gave Gun a very meaningful high 5. I’m proud of them.
I let out a much needed nervous sigh.

My Ideal School (Part 2: Those Who are Prepared)

The beginning was about stress and nerves, the essence that something big was about to happen was immistakable. Most of “the Guides”, as their badges said, were shaking or silent. I was on the same level; the stress became contagious when in such high quantities. Like a gas pouring over the crowd that was gathering, it only got stronger when the vans pulled up. The Head honcho wore a dark back suit with a faded sky blue under shirt; nothing about him seemed aggressive but everything was intimidating. I made my way around taking pictures feeling slightly out of place, I didn’t really know where I was supposed to be. But it didn’t seem to matter as the crowd kept moving towards the next event.
The whole presentation had changed over the past 3 days. The interary the same but the drummers walked with us to the stage and (impressively) kept a strong beat as we went. Flags stood out of the ground in the field, every one important was seated, the dancers went out in an arc, and their mom’s followed them also in Dancer attire. This was new, and also very cute the parents trying to keep up with their kids. (Although my mom never has to keep up with me since she is the greatest mom in the world and can do anything, of course) It was amazing how many people had showed up already, an entire village worth of people. And its only 9:30.
I followed the brigade of onlookers, parents, digniataries and guides to the next few destinations. I was heeled up against some of the older students also taking pictures, I couldn’t help but to feel a little “faranged out” although in this case I was a respected Farang. Beyond the stress of it all, the preparation was showing. Each station knew what they were doing and could explain it as the Big Man laid out a birage of curious questions. He was certainly on a mission, moving quickly seeing only what he had to see before moving on.
Something was building as Arworn rushed by me; her stress level had risen past the calm threshhold. Actually speaking of which every teacher was now in a frantic craze. I asked Arworn what was going on.
“He is going up stairs soon, not eating lunch…” I realize that what this meant was the Big Man was skipping the scheduled lunch, going straight through everything. This meant a lack of set up time, moving supplies from room to room, suddenly I began to feel a growing panic within myself…and I didn’t even have to present.
To help Arworn I ran around the school gathering the P.6 students who didn’t know, I turned on the equipment in the English room, preped Gun, and did my rounds of trying to calm people down. Which by effect was a little harder when you are rushed to do so. Soon enough however the Big Man on campus moved up the concrete stairs and past the mirror and decorative flora. Countdown, 3…we are prepared… 2… Everything is in place, everyone knows their stuff …1…wait, he still has the Math room. Gun does what I would decribe as an angry hop with an expression of pain. I agreed.

My Ideal School (Part 1: D-Day)

Finally the day has come. This is the day of days, the final leap at what all this preparation was about. No Lampang Supervisors are coming these guys are from Bangkok, the Big-Shots of the Education Board. Finally the panic level has reached quota with the prep time, I learned the words “Stress” and “Nervous” just for this occasion. It’s weird seeing Thais this worked up in such a typical America Archetype; “the nervous wreck”. It’s entirely contrary to much of what I’ve seen over my past 2 or so months. Yesterday Arworn told to teach one thing…then another…then something 360 to that, I can’t say I even finished one but she was worked to her limit. And now it’s today, the day of days, the whole sha bang, the grand finale, the summit of an ever confusing mountain of stress.
20 minutes till go time, I still have no clue what I am supposed to do. Everyone and everything are in positions, I should go find mine.

In the distance 3 vans are rolling swiftly down the narrow Thai roads.
(To be Continued)

My Outpost

That’s what it’s beginning to feel like up here, my little outpost on the second floor. I have a mirror like glass door that I can see down the hall with, the computer is password locked, and when I step outside I look down onto groups of kids just sitting at tables beneath the row of trees. I’ve been up here more and more of late, a mixture of schedule, writing, and foot pains. But Thai’s are traditionally group people, and me, living more and more by their culture I feel weird. Out of the loop. The English room is looking nicer though, new tables and drapes, even a new desk for me to type on. I know that I have been here too long though by one reason imparticular; it’s starting to look like my desk at home. Huh? Cluttered and covered with things I “need” in front of me. I wonder if my desk at home got cleaned up.
The fans mounted on the ceiling never quite reach me, and I’m anxious to leave my outpost today. The call “Conn-ah” as I looked out over the railing was warmly welcomed.

My Games

The Table Game:
I've been having trouble keeping myself entertained at lunch. I usually eat the same dish of "Goy Teeow" (noodles) and my glass of Limeade, I sit with the same crowds of kids, and it has begun to feel just like a school lunch at good ol' PTHS. So I have started to try and mix it up, trying to create the weirdest tables of kids I can; testing myself to see if I can get someone from each social group to actually sit down. You would be surprised how hard this is, getting an M.1, M.2 and an M.3 to sit next to a 3 P.6's. Sometimes I play a game to see what specific arrangements I can get (like bonus points). I could get the smallest M.2 with the largest M.3, or a P.3 with an M.3, or my favorite the loudest with the quietest. Its an interesting game of social science, and pyschological economics. Mainly though, I just have gotten bored with the lunch system.

How loud can I say….? Game:
The title says it all, but this game is running its course as the kids begin to look up the words that I shout out.

The “Farang” (foreigner):
Sometimes I play this game when I’m in Nabiya or Thoen, where I count the number of looks you get while walking through town. (Double takes, stareing, wide eyes, someone shouting “farang”, it all counts.) It’s a good way to make you feel “pretty farang’ed out,” as Scotti put it. Or it can make you realize those moments (whenever they were/are) when you felt completely “in place.”

The Name Game:
Unlike most name games where you try to learn each others names together. My game consists of trying to remember everyone’s name, and if I don’t I have to learn it without asking. 90 names are hard to keep locked in your brain especially when you have: 3 Fiw’s, 3 An’s, and a plethora of Do’s, Mo’s and Da’s. Never-the-less I’m up to the task.

And finally The-Try-and-Predict-if-You-Actually-Teach-Today-or-if-You-Sit-and-Watch-Ideal-School-Practice Game:
I play this game, The-try-and-predict-if-you-actually-teach-today-or-if-you-sit-and-watch-Ideal-School-practice Game, all too often. But we are closing in on the final day here soon, Its either Saturday or Sunday (maybe Friday), and this last test gave English the gold star. Ill definatetly be excited when I no longer play The-try-and-predict-if-you-actually-teach-today-or-if-you-sit-and-watch-Ideal-School-practice Game. Because The-try-and-pre…Ok I’ll stop cutting and pasteing now.

My Toes

Lately my sandals, the specific brand that has done me so well in the past (Columbia Highlanders?) have begun to betray me. It started with a single mosquitoe bit on the bottom of my foot. It rubbed itself raw about 2 weeks ago then because of the odd position of my foot blisters started to form. 1,2,3...I can spot at least 4 four blisters between the big toe and my long toe (the Index Toe scientifically speaking). I’ve begun to run through my band-aid collection real fast, which is worrying me, what if I get a nasty gash and all of my firendly Johnson and Johnson brand band-aids are gone. Well, I’ll just have to waitand see. I do have some non-brand-name patches but pssh, I doubt they are nearly as useful.
Other than my less than steller toes I have been getting by pretty good the last week or so. The weather has been on the chilly side, for some reason the clouds have made up camp around us. It reminds me of the North-west, the good’ol chilly, gray, crisp, dreary, rainy, and oddly comforting North-west. And classes where ever I can pick them up are going good. The “Ideal school” has made that tough but they are there every once in awhile. Sooner or later this frantic stress ridden examination will end. It’ll be a good day.
My toes, hurting and rubbed raw, did inspire me to do something though. That was to step off my motorcycle and exchange it for a bike. Walking around the restaurant I just got so tired of my slight limp I hopped on Bim’s Bike (maybe it was Bam’s), and I rode way past my house and beyond the 5th village. I hadn’t ridden a bike in a long time, at least not in the village. The last two trips with the Expedition Club I had the “Ghostbuster”, and now that I’m on my own I use solely my gray and black Motorbike. It was a nice change of pace – I actually had enough time to look at the dead snake on the side of the road and the giant spider between the phone poles. Actually that wasn’t good, I try to forget that they exist. But I did see how much the rice has grown over the past few weeks and the serene fog that has set up base camp on the mountain. It even slowed me down enough to go see an old friend. We talked for an hour of mixed “Tinglish”, about her upcoming exams and how she misses some aspects of Pha Pang. The conversation even came back to my toes, all bandaged and gross. At this point I had taped them together in a make shift cast. They were just sticking out waiting for the impending joke, it came, I laughed too. It all seemed so comical till the tape clipped the ground on my ride back to the restaurant.

My Defining Moments

I did it! I finally found out the difference between “Hom” and H’om” (look back to my first entry). It turns out on of the two means “smells good” the other is “onion”, chalk one down for Conner’s studying skills. Although I still don’t wear that shirt too often.
Moments like those are what will end up defining my trip, both the highs and the lows. The moments where I look like a complete fool and those moments where I could be the king of the world. The memories I’ll keep aren’t me sitting in this room, but last night when I reconnected with an old friend. Maybe I won’t be able to call upon the time later in life, when I tripped in front of the school (embarrassing myself thoroughly). I know for certain though, that my first trip around the tri Village loop will define who I am.
P’Tukta sat down with me before dinner and started talking with me. Over the course of 7 Thailand trips she has gotten very good at English. She tells me that the teachers at school said that “I‘m really good”.
I replied, “nah, I just have fun.”
“No no.” P’Tukta responds as kindly as ever. “You will be missed.”
I don't want to think about leaving but, I can’t even articulate how much that meant.

My Final Pages

It’s Wednesday, and the school is in full preparation for an "Ideal School" competition. I thought this competition had already taken place, earlier in the month there was a huge build for this visit from a Lampang Supervisor. Turns out there are stages that a school must go through to be elligible. The first is a spot check, all of the presentations prepared by each class are seen, and each is critiqued by the supervisor. Then weeks later (after I thought we were long past done with the Ideal School) another supervisor comes to check for progress. Finally as you pass check after check, the Committee comes. I like to think this Committee will come in a huge caravan of black sedans and each will be a different nationality. Maybe even a giant ceremony will be held in their honor. Probably not. Although they've been building up for that day since The Expedition Team left last month.
When this preparation is going on I have no clue whats going to happen. Sometimes we have classes. Most times we don't. Sometimes they sing a song in the morning (the "Ideal School" song, it's in English) but on the days they don't, I have no warning. This requires some quick thinking on my part. Am I preparing a lesson plan for an hour or 20 minutes, or the better question do I even have to be in the classroom right now? I play it safe normally and hang out in the English room, which is where I am now. Today feels like its just beginning, and by looking at the history of my "post 2 pm" days it could be. Yesterday I did laundry, cleaned the house. I was in the mood for industry but some how I took a 2 and a half hour nap, when I woke up it was dinner. huh? That could happen today, we'll see.
I'm approaching the final pages of my first journal. My entire journey up to this point is written down somewhere in there. Like the time I came home to 2 half naked guys who were all hyped up because they killed a giant bug with a sword. And the time when I taught 7 riled up 5th graders math, I did the best I could. There are times like now, where I was feeling sentimental and philosophical or times like August 8th (I was no near that).
The first words of my Journal are "...and we're off..." what the last ones will be I can’t say. Maybe something about today. Arworn tryed to give me money for deodorant, I said I had some...Then I took the hint. I woke up 15 minutes before I sat up, then there was another lost 20 before I slipped off my bed. Breakfast was a rice soup, lunch was noodles, and dinner looks like it'll be Kao Soy. Earlier I recieved a call that was only the sound of walking and chickens (It was an unknown number). Now I'm still in this English room. Wait, who turned off my fan?

My Most Common Phrases

1. Sabai di mai? (how are you?)
I use this every hour, maybe every 30 minutes. When I’m at school it comes out of my mouth every couple minutes, they al most always respond “I’m good”. Similar to how “hows it going?” is used in the northwest, people say it in passing or as a hello. But it’s also my only look into how the person is doing. With my limited vocabulary this is sometimes as close as I get to a deep conversation. When a friends feeling bad, I can’t find the words (literally: I have a dictionary with me) to ask what the problem is or what happened. All I have is Sabai di Mai?

2. (gumlung) Tam alai u? (What are you doing?)
“Nang” (sitting), hmm, I wonder why everybody thinks this is such a clever answer. 9/10 times that’s the answer I get.

3. Blair wah alai? (What does that mean?)
In my search to learn the Thai language I’ve covered a lot of ground. I think I’ve read through Teach Yourself Thai about 4 times. I made my way through a little of a writing unit. The dictionary I have is almost torn apart; only a single strand of duct tape holds it together. But by far the most important thing I know (well maybe heew nam (thirsty) comes close) is Blair wah alai. With this phrase, my boundries for study aren’t all relying on a 6x3 cm piece of gray tape.

4. Joy mai bpen kon (Joy isn’t a person)
I now use descretion for the contacts I put in my phone. Ever since the kids saw the name “Joy” in my contacts, they all think she is my girlfriend. And I’m honestly a little tired of telling them about the laundry service near the Lotus hotel called “Joy Laundry”. I don’t think anyone named Joy even works there. This doesn’t stop them however.

5. Mee pasah Ungrit wan ni/proong ni? (Do you have English today/tomorrow?)
This is always followed with the question Yak Leeun alai? (what do you want to study?). In my constant effort to become a better teacher I try to get a little help here and there. I try to get heads up who I should be prepared for each day. Its just too bad this is usually answered Mai loo ( I don’t know), Alai gor dai (anything).

6. Bai teeow (go wandering/touring)
I walk down the open street, someone calls out “bai nai?” (Where you going?), and I reply. P’Tukta asks me “bai nai?” as I finish cleaning my plate, and I reply. Hopping on my motorcycle and riding out of school, kids walk by “bai nai?”, and I reply. I pulled into Nabiya, crossing the bridge and up a slight hill. A friend sees me and shouts “bai nai?”, and I reply.

My Day 64

Some one must have leaned on the thermostat this morning, its beginning to be the hottest day yet. And best of all its only 9:00 am. Today's the first day in awhile I made a schedule for myself, since day one I've been trying to get out of that habit. I saw it as something of a hinderence to Thai Time.
Thai Time is the schedule many Thais live by - It'll happen when it happens - and for many travelers it becomes a Philosophy to apply to life. I'm an over organized person so braking loose of schedules puts my in an odd state of mind. I panic sometimes and become a little too irratable, then I become too comfortable letting random things slide. Then I jumpstart back into stress, then into peace, then into lazyness, then.......I think you get the idea. However recently I've mastered this system, at least for myself. Mainly that was allowing myself to let go, let go of final plans and allow myself to be patient. If I could pinpoint one single aspect of growth that I've gone through in Thailand; it would be patience.
But back to today. I woke up early to the sounds of a motorcycle racing by. The concrete walls on either side of the streets amplify the noise; I could swear this motorcycle didn’t have a muffler. But it probably did I was just a little extra cranky because I had 6 minutes till my alarm. Bucket shower, clothes, lesson plan. And on the my way down to eat breakfst I made a shedule for my day, It seems like a good idea, a lot of things seem stacked up for the end of this week. It felt good, like the feeling of having a lesson plan goes exactly right. Which is nothing like what the M.1 class I just taught. 32 kids in a room with 20 seats. But I'll go more into that later.